My Inner Saboteur

We all have an inner saboteur. That little part of us that doesn’t want us to receive what we want in exchange for safety. But safety is a booby prize – fool’s gold. We want what we want, not safety!  But that’s what we get when we live through our saboteur. Safety and emptiness.

Just last night I identified a very important saboteur of mine, one that has had me dodging a lot of miracles for years. That little guy is self-righteousness. Let me explain:

In recent years, whenever there’s been something that I’ve really wanted, regardless of the topic, a “movie” would play in my head about how it would turn out with something or someone blocking me from getting the thing done or receiving what it was I had in mind. The “film” would then show me how I’d confront the person or situation so that I could set them right for their lack of consideration toward me, their irresponsibility regarding that which I wanted. Go figure!  My ego would then feel a “faux” satisfaction from teaching them a lesson, them wrongdoers!  After the fake satisfaction was real enough – a temporary dissipation of the fear energy that had not turned into directed action – the movie in my mind would move on to another topic, oblivious to what it had made me miss.

The perceived benefit was that I was exercising – in my mind only – my ability to communicate my frustration and to feel vindicated from the evil “they” had bestowed upon me.

The problem – and most important aspect – of this dynamic is:
I STILL DIDN’T HAVE WHAT I WANTED!

An even deeper aspect of this problem is that sometimes my ego would make me the enemy. When I had myself to blame for screwing up I’d send myself to where I’d be as far as possible from seeing what I wanted, not to mention receiving it.  The ego won’t blame itself, of course, and someone must pay, so I, the real Self, had to be punished for getting in my way.

Now I realize that instead of working toward my intention, my mind has been keeping me “safe” from the possibility of failure by not doing anything about it, and feeding me an illusion of actually having done something. And it’s only that: an illusion.

Knowing this I can now cut out the middle man, and go directly into working on my manifestation. Now I know that whenever my “mind movie” goes into “protect Carli from frustration” mode there’s really something there for me to do about what I want. I can now turn off its previously automatic switch and redirect my energy toward creating my desired result – like writing this blog post, for example. I can stop looking for the fall guy, as there is nobody there. It’s only myself!  I can starve the parasite of self-righteousness in exchange for living into the best version of my life.

What is your main saboteur?  Which part of you gets in the way of living the way you want?  Do you blame others?  Yourself?  Who’s the usual culprit for you not having what you want?  Take a moment to observe your patterns of failure or inaction and identify what keeps you away from your desired manifestations and feelings. Reflect on how you can redirect your focus and what you can do now from an unbridled point of view. Then go for it!

Comment below, I’d love to know your insights!

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∞ Universe of Infinite Evidence ∞

It’s a pretty big place we live in, this Universe. In fact, it’s the largest thing/event in the 3D (space/time) construct. It surrounds us and is in us. And even though it operates according to Universal Laws, it also obliges our thoughts like a computer obeys the programs running on it.

But if the Universe responds to what we think about, what makes it so mysterious?  How come it seems so random and at the same time shows such coherence?  Here’s an analogy that can help us understand how our reality is projected to us based on what we focus on:

Imagine the Universe as a gigantic warehouse where all possibilities are held. Every perception, idea, feeling, situation, person, and object is found in its infinite database. It’s all-encompassing: everything we ever wanted to experience can be found somewhere in this enormous cosmic goop.

Now imagine that as long as there is no observer this warehouse remains completely dark. Its contents are kept there, unseen, unless they are shined upon by a spot of light. The Universe functions on the concept that something exists only insofar as there is an observer focusing its attention on it. Only then can anything come to life, become “real”. Looking at, or focusing on something is what makes it “real” to its observer. And when no one is looking, it goes back to the nothingness whence it emerged.

So then, what or who can shed light on all this potential richness?  Only an entity with the gift of awareness… such as You. At any given moment you are retrieving data from this endless field by merely observing – that is your beam of light. However, you are not a mere spectator when you direct your attention. By focusing on something you define it The data you retrieve take whatever form your thoughts instruct it to. And the way your thoughts shape it into what we call physical manifestations depends to a large degree on what you believe is possible. In other words, whatever you think about and believe to be true or possible gets taken by the Universe as an order to fetch it for you – whether it is something you want or something you don’t. When you shine your awareness on an item in this endless warehouse, that wave of  endless possibilities gets collapsed into a particle of existence – its potentiality gets “condensed” into matter and becomes “real” in your experience (whether imagined or “real”).

Great, but what does all this have to do with me?

Look around in your life right now: the people that surround you, the food you eat, where you live, your health, your income, your internal state…  Everything you are experiencing in physical form is a residue of what you have been shining your light upon. You have created all of it by merely focusing your attention on and putting your energy into it, which has placed you on a path where only that can be observed. And this is true whether you like what you are experiencing or not. The Universe can only bring to you that which you have instructed it to show you by the power of your focus  – whether consciously or unconsciously.

So try this:
Practice observing how you’re observing. Find patterns of what aspects of life you habitually focus on. Does everyone appear annoying to you, or are they collaborators on this journey?  Is life a continuous struggle to catch up with payments and expectations, or is it the path on which you feel taken care of and able to express your true purpose?  How you view life is how it will be reflected back to you.

If there are situations in your life that you would rather do without, find the thoughts that describe them as you perceive them and question whether there are other ways to interpret them. As you begin to shift your focus, your spotlight will shine on aspects of life that were previously hidden from you. Your behavior will also begin to reflect your new paradigm, since your upgraded thoughts will begin to yield actions that are congruent with them. The more you practice experiencing life the way you want, the more life will reflect back to you the way you want to experience it.

Shine your spot toward the light and you’ll not only redeem what you truly want – you’ll also redeem yourself from hardship. The Universe will sooner or later reward you for your efforts, guaranteed.

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Thank you for visiting my blog. Please leave your thoughts below!

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How ’bout the How?

Standing here on spot “A” you have a dream: a great dream of a great life full of great people, abundance, and adventure. But that dream is not here; it’s over there, on spot “B”. In fact, it’s waaay over there. So far away that it feels impossible to close the gap between you. So you bury it under layers of excuses that you call reasons and forget that you ever had it. Then you get absorbed in all kinds of mindless motions that you never would have, had you listened to it. And you get drained all that time, justifying that life gets in the way or that you actually find the video of a dog licking peanut butter off its nose rather enlightening.

I’m sure this rings a bell.
But why do we all keep doing this?
What is that obstacle that keeps us from dreaming bigger?

You could say it’s the unstable economy. But you know it’s not. Neither is it a lack of investment capital, nor too many things to do in the craze of contemporary society. And, I hate to point out, it ain’t the bloated ego of your overpaid, underachieving, narcissistic boss, either.

This obstacle is something that virtually ALL of us stumble upon more often than we’d be willing to admit – even if we knew we were doing it. Perhaps you’ll recognize it:

We don’t dream bigger because when we get a glimpse of a life that seems better than what we have right now, we don’t have a clue as to HOW we can get “there”.
And we shut it down.

We imagine a better job, more free time, a fatter wallet, a slimmer bottom, a joyous relationship. We like what we see. It feels good to swim in that fantasy. Then we start to wonder what it would take to make these real – how to get to them. And, just in time for conflict, our analytical knights gallop in ahead of us, swords drawn for our protection, warning us against failure, frustration, and how HARD it’s gonna be to slay that dreamy dragon. And we usually take their advice!  We may even not feel worthy of a better life. “Yeah, as if…”  So we put the thing away, because it feels better to daydream of putting some a-hole in their place or check the latest memes on Facebook than to pursue something we have no clue how to get. Even though we’d love to.

We lie to ourselves.
“It’s not for me anyway.”
“I’m happy where I am. (Right?)

But there’s always the “wouldn’t that be nice?” that keeps tugging at the sleeve of our souls, wanting to be heard; a real desire that, although mislaid under layers of comfort, is too alive to remain buried. It wants to become.

But then, if it’s something that I’d love to have but can’t even start to do anything about because I don’t know how to get it, HOW do I deal with the freakin’ “how”?!?
The answer Continue reading